I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
