Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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