It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
