I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
