dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
