she looked like the before picture.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
