Your tits are I can't wait for
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
