Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
