my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Found your dick twin last night
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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