I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
