i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
