Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
