my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
