her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
