Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize