I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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