the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
