Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
