Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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