i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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