your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
