Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
don't judge my taste in strippers
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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