I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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