That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize