I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
