ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
