Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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