Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
