I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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