dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
