Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My balls are so social today.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize