Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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