he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
