So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
smell my finger.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He felt like a one man threesome
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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