I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
