and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
