You really coming over, don't trick.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Pants are for mortals
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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