Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
worst night to have a conscience
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
