Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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