"it" just moved
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize