her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
