he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
