my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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