and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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