my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
