PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
