If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
