That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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