Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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