Only a mothe r could love this liver
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
