Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
