I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
