my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
the liver wants what the liver wants
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
