Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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