I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
