are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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